Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Mike on Speedos and Public Nudity

HIs FB Post today, 5/1/13.  I saw this reposted by Naked Persimmon.  Perhaps egged on by them....


I suppose most of you have the info that we – El Monkoos -- are going back on tour this Summer to hit the cities we missed last Fall.

It’ll be fun – I enjoy channeling Mike, the music is fun to play and I’m getting a new bus.

I have mixed feelings about the weather, though. No, wait – I have bad feelings about the weather. There is a reason everyone leaves Austin in August – or New York in July. Darting from air conditioning to air conditioning is not my idea of a good time. It one of the reasons I live where I do.

The folks up the coast here have it weird as well but along the other line. The joke is “the coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco.” The coastal fog rolls in around June and hangs till end of August and it is cold and windy.

Still, nothing like the blistering heat in Phoenix and Houston and points South.

Most of the venues will have air conditioning except for the outdoor ones. Now with Global warming I am expecting temperatures in the thousands. Actually my natural body temperature is in the millions so the air might be OK.

The main problem with the weather for me is what to wear. I have some shorts and sandals. I have a Speedo -- the little bitty one. But once a body rolls past seventy trips around-the-sun summer clothes become a problem.

Cute little revealing things become weapons of mass destruction. I can clear a Wal-Mart parking lot just by walking around in my Speedo. Totally naked will of course get me life in prison.

We are, as a nation, only a few seasons away from public nudity. The Europeans in their wisdom have already tossed half their summer garments – tops are long gone – and it is only a matter of You Tube time before the bottoms go away as well.

Texting is already stark naked if you are under twenty.

Alas it is not to be for me. Not just because of age but I have no exhibitionism that I know of. I had the same “naked in a class room” nightmares that most everyone has – but I wonder if I may not have gotten the last episode of that dream – if now “naked in a class room” is a desirable fantasy?

In any case I don’t think I can do public nudity yet. I will just try to keep from staring at the ones who can.

Pretty bodies are nice enough but at the end of the day they all end up in a pile on a floor somewhere. So it’s not really the best thing to look at. It’s too sexy for one thing; can’t take your mind off the sexy parts. And public nudity is going to look odd – at least in the US – for a while.

The thing that gets my attention is the unself-conscious ease of “here we all are”. – so when I see that type of thinking it is more outstanding to me than oily naked body parts.

In a world where I am surrounded by the pursuit of pretty and young it is comforting and impressive to see wise and eternal.

The daily effort of avoiding ridiculousness and garnering praise is hot and sweaty – and futile. Years ago I found that being ridiculous and avoiding praise was a much better way to go – but it didn’t help hot and sweaty all that much.

I guess I will just have to wait and see what Mike comes up with.

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